By Archibong Archibong
Self- esteem entails how much value you place on yourself, how much you appreciate yourself and how much you stay motivated even when you have failed in a particular thing. It is that factor that shows how you perceive and like yourself regardless of the circumstances around you. Self-esteem most times is mistaken for pride which is a wrong ideology. Accepting your weaknesses and attempting to correct them is a perfect example of high self-esteem. When this happens, it implies you think of yourself as someone with great potentials who needs proper grooming and refining to get to the top, not necessarily someone masquerading to be what you are not.
The importance of building a positive self-esteem cannot be over emphasized. Studies have shown that it impacts an individual’s decision making process and overall well-being which of course is an ingredient that keeps one in constant sanity. It also influences motivation, as people with a healthy positive view of themselves understand their potential and may feel inspired to take on new challenges. That is why when someone’s self esteem is trampled upon, it kills his or her morale and induce psychological trauma. In a situation when you want to correct someone, do it with high sense of maturity hoping to achieve positive results not mere criticism which will result in deep melancholy and disassociation.
There is also need for parents to start building their children’s self-esteem right from childhood because it will help them to be confident and independent. In a case where a child’s low self-esteem syndrome is ignored, it will disrupt their mental health and happiness in later life. However, if you are still battling with low self-esteem, you could imbibe by these few activities to help you boost your self-esteem.
- Don’t be a people pleaser: If you spend your whole life trying to please other persons, you won’t find personal happiness. People pleasers have an unfortunate habit of making everyone else a priority over themselves. It put you in perpetual pretence of becoming someone else other than your original self. It is popularly said that “he who tries to please everybody pleases nobody”. This implies that the attention and love you are trying to get from others might not come real but only an illusion. It is therefore better to live your best life at every moment rather than pretending to be who you are not because it will have a negative effect on your self-esteem.
- Acknowledge your success: If you want to boost your self-esteem, you should celebrate your successes. Think about the person you were just a few years ago, and recognize how much you have grown and changed. Don’t ever feel you are a failure all the time. Write your successes down and as time goes on you’ll be amazed at how much you have accomplished. Develop on the achievements you’ve made to get greater ones. With you will have confidence in yourself that can surmount all obstacles.
- Always say No when you need to: Another way of building your self-esteem and making yourself a priority and committing to your decisions is learning how to say no in a decisive yet respectful way. When you learn how to say no, you teach others that your boundaries and decisions are to be respected and that you won’t be taken advantage of. By teaching other to respect your decisions, you affirm to yourself that you are allowed to have needs and preferences.
- Develop a positive self talk: We all talk to ourselves in some way, whether loud or just in our heads, and the language we use can be a significant insight into how we view ourselves. Negative self-talk creates a feedback loop where your self-esteem drops, which leads to more negative self-talk or even worst. If you must build your self-esteem, you must first analyze how you talk to yourself. Anytime such negative thoughts come into your mind, replace it with positive talks until it becomes a habit.
As an individual you need to put in a lot of work to develop yourself and build a positive self-esteem. Don’t get hard on yourself when you make mistakes, acknowledge the fact that you are human bound to make mistakes at some point. Face them squarely and do the needful to make a better you.
ORE INNOVATIONS: Center for Human Development 